the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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