What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
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His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
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He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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