I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize