how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
