oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
