I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
