you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
