She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
