I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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