Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
