i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
