I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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