Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
