You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
