you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
