tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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