I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
