i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
