apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
