I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
