Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize