i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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