so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
