September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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