We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
