McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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