you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize