Where is the hickey?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
