well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
