My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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