She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
