You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
40s are totally the cure
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do you remember whose house we're in?