I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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