Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
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She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
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you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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