Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
