If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
