Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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