flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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