He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
