I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
