I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
