I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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