TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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