even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
