I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
