just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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