I have demons in me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
3pm strippers are depressing
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
