so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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