I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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