we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize