His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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