i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
