i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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