I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
