i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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