Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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