what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
