the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
